Mom was headed to church and realized when she got to the end of the road that she had left her Bible at home. She prefers to have her own Bible since it has the books marked and she makes notations in it (she used to be a teacher, she can’t help but take notes!) Mom turned around and headed back home to pick up her Bible.
She hit the garage door opener and jumped out of the car to run in and get her Bible because she was now going to be late for church. Apparently, you loose points for being late AND not bringing your own Bible – she was batting 1000 today. As she started to walk around the car, something brushed her leg. It was the car coasting past her. She grabbed the door handle to open the door and jump in and stop the car, but alas, it was locked. Damn automatic locks. All she could do is watch.
The Chevy Malibu coasted within inches of the restored Jeep CJ7 that is my Dad’s pride and joy. Sailed into the BBQ leaving a beautiful streak of black and gray down the driver’s side door. Then rammed through the rear garage door and out into the freedom of the back yard. Somehow the Malibu chose a course that took it between two trees that had just been planted. We aren’t sure what goal that little car was trying to achieve, but it caused quite a commotion as it propelled over the brand new retaining wall and into the channel of North Snow Bay.
The neighbors came running out of their homes and were relieved to see that Mom was okay. This was immediately followed by fits of laughter and everyone going in to get cameras and video to document the momentous occasion. Our neighbor on the other side of the channel was putting finishing touches on his home with the contractor. It was going to be in the Parade of Homes that afternoon. They watched horrified as Mom’s little car sat in the lake. The contractor and homeowner were over immediately, called a tow truck and both got underneath the car and started removing parts of the retaining wall. They wanted that eyesore out before people started arriving. They were doing everything to facilitate the expeditious removal of the car from the lake!
My Dad was in California when this all happened. Mom swore my sister and I to secrecy because she was going to get everything fixed before he came home so he wouldn’t know. RIGHT!! My sister and I both suggested to Mom that from now on, she just use the pew Bible – God would understand. My Dad had a t-shirt made with a picture of the car in the lake it said, “Nellie’s Driving Academy.” We also threw a surprise party for her complete with police tape, road signs – “Slippery when wet”, “Caution”, a tow truck centerpiece and pictures of the incident made into placemats, napkins, mugs, etc. It would have made Martha Stewart proud. Just goes to prove – you can put a redneck in a fancy lake home, but they will still be a redneck.